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(Dog Dictionary)Tj
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(LEASH:)Tj
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( A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person\
where you )Tj
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(want him/her to go.)Tj
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(DOG BED:)Tj
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( any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room \
or the )Tj
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(newly upholstered couch in the living room.)Tj
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0 -2.557 TD
(DROOL:)Tj
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( Is what you do when your persons have food, and you don't. To do this p\
roperly, you )Tj
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(must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the \
floor, or better yet, on )Tj
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(their laps.)Tj
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(SNIFF:)Tj
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( A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as cl\
ose as you )Tj
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(can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times,\
or until your person )Tj
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(makes you stop.)Tj
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(GARBAGE CAN:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingen\
uity. )Tj
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(You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your n\
ose. If you do it right, )Tj
0 -1.2 TD
(you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume\
and moldy crusts )Tj
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(of bread.)Tj
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( )Tj
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(BICYCLES:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. T\
o get )Tj
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(maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark \
loudly and run )Tj
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(alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bu\
shes, and you prance )Tj
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(away.)Tj
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( )Tj
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(DEAFNESS:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in, an\
d they )Tj
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(want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then r\
unning in the opposite )Tj
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(direction, or lying down.)Tj
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(THUNDER:)Tj
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( This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amaz\
ingly )Tj
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(calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger\
by trembling )Tj
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(uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at thei\
r heels.)Tj
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( )Tj
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(WASTEBASKET:)Tj
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( This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers.\
)Tj
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(When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over t\
he house until your )Tj
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(person comes home.)Tj
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0 -2.557 TD
(SOFAS:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to ru\
n up and down the )Tj
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(front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.)Tj
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(BATH:)Tj
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( This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and thems\
elves. You )Tj
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(can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.)Tj
/TT0 1 Tf
0 -2.557 TD
(LEAN:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your per\
son is dressed )Tj
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(for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.)Tj
/TT0 1 Tf
0 -2.557 TD
(BUMP:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fre\
sh cup of )Tj
0 -1.227 TD
(coffee or tea.)Tj
/TT0 1 Tf
0 -2.557 TD
(GOOSE BUMP:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get th\
e )Tj
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(attention you require. Especially effective when combined with The Sniff\
. See above.)Tj
/TT0 1 Tf
0 -2.557 TD
(LOVE:)Tj
/TT1 1 Tf
( Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction\
. The best way you )Tj
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(can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will lo\
ve you in return.)Tj
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(- Author Unknown.)Tj
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